Work has always come easier to me than rest. When I worked in academia, I deliberately didn’t work on weekends—because I felt it important to take a break—but also longed for Mondays so I could work again.
When I shaped my mentoring business around the values of “slow, gentle and profitable”, I deliberately made rest part of it. I wanted to run my business to have lots of space to not work: to read, to knit, to sit in the garden, to move my body. I didn’t yet know how deeply my body was going to need rest—and how that would shape my business in the future.
In this post, I want to write about a dimension of rest that is often not talked about: how rest is not always a choice, but a necessity. Not just in an “average human” kind of way, but in a “having no other choice or I will collapse” kind of way.
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What rest looks like for me
This is not the “bubblebath and face mask” kind of rest we see online. This is “needing to lie down for an hour in the middle of the day” rest. Sitting really still on the sofa in pain when I’ve somehow overdone it. Needing to recover from a day of travel for at least a day afterwards.
Rest, for me, is no longer a choice. Yes, it can feel deeply luxurious—for instance when I start my working day with 30 minutes of reading. Resting allows me to prioritise the things that are important to me, and which I used to think I had to earn with a day’s work.And why I find having to rest hard too.
But having to rest, and explicitly having to build my days around a lack of capacity, is also hard. I sometimes miss the old Astrid who seemed to have all the energy in the world. I miss not having to minutely plan my days—and paying the price if I don’t.
I also sometimes just get really, really annoyed. Yes, rest is lovely and all, but needing it so explicitly, and it taking up so much space in my life, is just…boring, too. Having to think about rest and my capacity every single day makes me angry at times.
I chose rest in my business because I wanted to push back against the productivity and hustle-culture I’d been surrounded by for years. I chose to build my business a certain way because I wanted to build my days more around non-work. And then I ended up needing rest, a lot more rest, in the years that followed.
I’m not mad about the kind of business I run. Even if I’d have more capacity I’d still want to have spacious days and minimal marketing and really clear boundaries around availability. But I’d just like a little more—a little more space, a little more energy, a little more capacity. Following a thought and really zoning in for a day, without having to rein myself in. Spreading things out over shorter periods of time. Not needing to shift the things I’d been looking forward to because I feel so deeply fatigued.
I notice this heightened need for rest not just in myself, but also in my clients; looking back over the past couple of years, at least half of the women I’ve worked with are at a point in their lives where they need more rest, whether they want to or not.
Often, these are women who have worked hard for years or decades. Who have been used to doing all the things. And now—can’t. They realise they are neurodivergent and have been exhausting themselves for decades. They are going through perimenopause, or coming to terms with their lives and bodies post-menopause. They’re living with illness or chronic conditions, or have simply reached a point in their lives when they no longer want to hustle and push—and realise that their bodies no longer wanted that either.
Our work together is the kind of work I’ve done myself (and keep doing). It’s about prioritising and realising that the necessary work will still get done. That you can run a profitable business on fewer hours a week. That you can market your business if you’re on fewer channels. That your business can truly move with your life and your needs, no matter how much your capacity fluctuates.
If you could use some support to build a business that truly honours your needs, I’d love to hear from you. Book a free chemistry call to chat, or email me through the contact form if you’d rather write —no strings attached.
I’d love to know what resonates with you from this post.
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I’d love to support you in all phases of your business. Providing clarity, focus and next steps is something that my clients tell me I’m really good at. If you’re curious about how we can work together through 1:1 mentoring, check out what I offer or send me an email–no strings attached. I have payment plans available, and flexible options for mentoring calls.
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